When we lose touch with our real self, who we really are, we lose our connection to the present moment, have an empty feeling and a lack of aliveness, something is missing.

To compensate we distract ourselves with work, shopping, social media, drinking, eating, acquiring possessions, achieving etc. Despite all these distractions, the empty feeling remains with us.

So what is happiness?

Is it Pleasure? Not really. Pleasure is all the temporary things –  that instant gratification that doesn’t last, and so we have to keep seeking the next pleasure. Having stuff, acquiring stuff. Pleasure comes and goes but you can’t hold on to it. Pleasure is fine, for sure enjoy it, but “your happiness does not depend on it”.

Fulfilment is different. Fulfilment is a sense that you know yourself deeply and your life is being fully lived. You are engaged, what you do has meaning and gives you a sense of achievement. It’s also about relationships with your partner, friends who really matter and really love the real you.

Fulfilment stays with you through the ups and downs of life. Fulfilment is what gives us happiness.

Our culture and society wants us to think that happiness comes from pleasure, having stuff, getting stuff, achieving stuff. Its fine but doesn’t bring happiness. You get lots of non-sustainable pleasure, but not fulfilment, which is what you really want.

So – be an investigator and an explorer. Find out about yourself, who you really are and what you really want. Take responsibility for your own life values, direction and happiness. When you are true to yourself, you will do what satisfies your values, you will attract who and what you are. Your tribe.

It’s never too late, start now.

Declan Conlon

Personal change & Mindfulness Coach

Mindfulness Classes – Edenderry Parish Centre- Contact me for details message, email or text 086-2545506