Return to Blog

Are you pretending to be something that you are not?

brown wooden blocks on white surface
Change your Life – Let it go

On a personal level, for many years, probably wasted years – I was always trying to fit in with the “in crowd”, pretending to be something that I wasn’t. Laughing at jokes that I thought weren’t funny. Cringing at some of the values and belifs that these people had.

When I experienced the benefits of Life Coaching and Mindfulness, I started to discover who I really was and what I really wanted. I let go of pretending to fit in, embraced my true self and let go of the false and unhappy life I was leading.

You may, or may not, feel that applies to you. If it doesn’t then that’s okay, you’re okay. But if it does, then you need to think about making some changes in your life.

Change is difficult. Being brave and letting go of who you are pretending to be in the life you’re living, and the people you socialise with, can be very difficult and challenging. It is tempting not to do it and to live in this “pretending comfort zone”.

In my own personal circumstances, I worked with a Life Coach, who helped me with this process. For me it was a really good experience and an investment in myself and my future happiness.So I would recommend that you consider working with a life coach.

You can contact me for an initial “no fee” chat and consultation.

In the paragraphs that follow I have just outlined a few ideas that might help you to explore this topic – follow your true path to happiness and fulfilment. Of course, there is no “one size fits all”, but it will get you started thinking about it.

It’s natural to want to fit in and be accepted by others, but pretending to be someone you’re not can have damaging effects on your mental and emotional health in the long run:

When you pretend to be someone you’re not, you’re hiding your true self. 

Pretending to be someone or something that you are not, can indeed have negative consequences, and one of the biggest is that you are only fooling yourself. When you pretend to be someone you’re not, you are not allowing yourself to fully express and embrace your true self, which can lead to feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety, and unhappiness.

You may attract people and situations that are not a good fit for your authentic self, leading to dissatisfaction and a sense of not belonging.This can result in feelings of loneliness and disconnection, even in a crowded room.

As I have said, we all have the desire to fit in and not be lonely. But, it’s better to be on your own than to be with people who you have nothing in common with, have different values and beliefs.

Being true to yourself can attract like-minded individuals into your life. 

When you embrace your authentic self, you are more likely to attract individuals who value and appreciate many of the same qualities and interests that you have. Being true to yourself  makes it easier to identify and connect with others who share similar values and beliefs.

By pretending to be something you’re not, you are only fooling yourself and missing out on the opportunities and experiences that come with embracing your true self. Don’t waste your life, follow and pursue the things that you are really interested in, either as a career or hobby, or both. Sometimes, what starts out as a hobby, becomes a career.

It’s important to be true to yourself, even if it means being different from those around you. When you are true to yourself, you are more likely to experience a sense of fulfilment and happiness, and attract individuals and situations that are a good fit for your authentic self.