Comparison: The Thief of Joy
Introduction:
Comparison is a universal experience, yet it often leaves us feeling inadequate or discontent. Theodore Roosevelt once said, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy,’ and it’s a sentiment that rings true for so many of us. Let’s explore how comparison shapes our lives—often negatively—and how we can reclaim our joy.
Human beings are wired with a negativity bias—our brains are more likely to focus on what’s lacking rather than what we already have. When we compare ourselves to others, it’s rarely to celebrate their successes or our own; instead, we focus on what we perceive as our shortcomings. This negative spiral can rob us of joy and leave us feeling inadequate.
Examples of Negative Comparisons:
We often compare ourselves to others in ways that diminish our self-worth. Thoughts like, ‘I’m not as talented as they are,’ ‘I’ll never be as successful,’ or ‘Why can’t I be as happy as they seem?’ creep into our minds. These comparisons can extend to our appearance, careers, relationships, and even our lifestyles. For instance, we might think, ‘Why don’t I have as many followers?’ or ‘Why doesn’t my life look as perfect as theirs on social media?
Social Media and Society Expectations:
Social media amplifies the comparison trap. We scroll through curated feeds of picture-perfect lives, lavish vacations, and seemingly flawless relationships, forgetting that these are often carefully constructed highlights. We compare our behind-the-scenes reality to someone else’s highlight reel, leading to feelings of inadequacy. Society’s expectations—whether about beauty, success, or happiness—only add to this pressure, making us feel like we’re constantly falling short.
The Illusion of Perfection:
Comparison is often based on illusions. When we envy someone’s seemingly perfect life—whether it’s their glamorous social media posts, their luxurious car, or their sprawling home—we’re comparing ourselves to a facade. What we don’t see are the struggles, insecurities, and challenges they face behind closed doors. Everyone’s journey is different, and what we perceive as perfection is often far from reality.
Overcoming Comparison- Some Suggestions
Breaking free from the comparison trap isn’t easy, but it’s possible. Here are some strategies to help you reclaim your joy and focus on your own unique journey:
Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
Surround yourself with positivity: Spend time with people who uplift and inspire you, rather than those who trigger feelings of inadequacy.
Reflect on your values: Define what truly matters to you and align your goals with those values, rather than societal expectations.
Practice Gratitude: Focus on what you have rather than what you lack. Regularly listing things you’re thankful for can shift your mindset.
Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend.
Limit your Social Media: Reduce exposure to curated lives by unfollowing accounts that trigger comparison or limiting screen time
Celebrate other people’s success: Shift your perspective by genuinely appreciating others’ achievements without comparing them to your own.
Mindfulness and Reflection:
Mindfulness has been a transformative practice in my life, both personally and professionally. At its core, mindfulness is about awareness—when we are aware of something, we can change it. Being present in the moment and observing our thoughts and feelings without judgment. When it comes to comparison, mindfulness helps us recognise when we’re falling into the comparison trap and gently guides us back to gratitude and self-acceptance. If you’re new to mindfulness, start by simply noticing when comparison arises and ask yourself, ‘Is this thought serving me?
Closing Thoughts:
If you’re someone who struggles with comparison, know that you’re not alone. By practicing gratitude, setting personal goals, and embracing your unique journey, you can begin to shift your mindset. Either way, I hope this blog encourages you to reflect on if and how comparison shows up in your life and how you can minimise it and reclaim your joy.
So, let’s focus on being the best version of ourselves—not a copy of someone else.
